A hard day.

It’s 8:47p.m. and wow it’s been such a long day. Driving home tonight I began to cry, I can’t exactly tell you why. It’s all these little things that pile up higher and higher and one day something so simple just sets me off. I’m so mentally exhausted. I just can’t seem to escape the constant anxiety about all these things going on in my life. I just want something good to happen to me. JUST ONCE. Is that too much to ask for???

I’m struggling to find the middle ground of everything around me.

Anxiety is so HARD.

Life events that seem normal to others cause a severe reaction to me.

I’m afraid of so many things

I don’t even know why

No matter where I go,

There is something that triggers me

I find myself thinking what it would be like to not be this way every day but I can’t imagine life any different.

Some days my anxiety comes in handy. I never thought that I would say that. It’s usually the overbearing destroyer of every aspect of my life, but I have found a way to focus on the fact that anxiety can help me prepare myself for important events.

Normally, I have intense worry to where it’s like I’m going through an event twice because I consume my every thought with that ONE thing coming up. It’s such a relief when I get through it because then I can be ‘normal’ for the time being until the next. It makes me quite distraught that I’m living anxiety attack to anxiety attack, as soon one is over I am thinking about when and where the next one will strike.

Not everyday is like that but eventually it all runs together and you can’t even distinguish between your good days and your bad days.

It’s so important that even on the bad days we take it all in and know that it’s only an amount of time before it’s over.

Through this moment I had, it was horrible but I knew that the next day it would dissolve.

Don’t focus on the next attack

Focus on the moment

Focus more on the days that are good.

You will appreciate them more when you do that

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s